Patriarchy has its Perks

The Governor of New York has a pesky shadow.

Like many, I was surprised by the allegations that he hired a call girl. How could someone with such a great reputation go so astray? Normally, not being afraid of taking risks is an asset. But he apparently wasn’t well acquainted with his Shadow. Not respecting the limits of that risk-taking is the realm of chaos and darkness. It’s hard to believe that someone of such stature failed to see this coming. He must have felt he had some kind of exemption. This is the realm of “black magic.” Magical qualities that served him well are now revealed in their inverse proportion.

Merton’s passage from New Seeds of Contemplation speaks to this:

The most dangerous man in the world is the contemplative who is guided by nobody. He trusts his own visions. He obeys the attractions of an interior voice, but will not listen to other men. He identifies the will of God with anything that makes him feel, within his own heart, a big, warm, sweet interior glow. The sweeter and the warmer the feeling, the more he is convinced of his own infallibility. And if the sheer force of his own self-confidence communicates itself to other people and gives them the impression that he is really a saint, such a man can wreck a whole city, or a religious order, or even a nation. The world is covered with the scars that have been left in its flesh by visionaries like these. However, very often these people are nothing more than harmless bores.

And one can wreck a whole city, a whole state, by sacrificing one’s integrity for sexual gratification. This is not about an affair with one’s secretary. Hiring a prostitute is criminal behavior. And so he has been forced to step down.

My sympathy is with his wife and family – and the prostitute. One can view this event through several prisms, and one of them is the Invincibility of Patriarchy.

There is, first of all, the woman he married, standing next to him in silent support as he made his apologies. She endures both a personal and very public betrayal. She is humiliated twice: once by the event, and again by serving as a prop.

It’s hard for me to understand his wife’s willingness to stand next to him at the podium.

Has she had time to absorb the shock and forgive him? Is she still in shock? Does she blame herself for failing to meet his sexual needs? Has she always known that he had an insatiable sexual appetite? Is she protecting her children by standing by their father? Does it comes with the territory of being married to a public figure? Is her own identity so enmeshed in his that she cannot stand alone and apart? Is it some combination of these things? Is it possible that, in the scheme of things, she has endured worse?

Maybe it’s just one of life’s awful trade-offs. Hillary Clinton stood by Bill in 1992 when the Paula Jones allegations surfaced, and, thanks to Monica, we know that Bill learned nothing.

But if she had abandoned Bill, could he have been elected president? Highly unlikely. The stakes were high. And where would Hillary be today if she had walked out?

Secondly, there is the prostitute. With such high level clients, she’s on the verge of becoming...respectable! She must be very attractive and singularly gifted to snare such high class prey. See how Patriarchy reverses the roles? She took him down. Poor guy. He was just another Washington sightseer when he got snagged by this temptress. We’ll call her Eve.
Here is a man with all the powers of the great State of New York at his disposal, a high profile Democrat in a Democratic year, a crusader for truth, justice and the American way. One would think he could’ve done something for Eve that might improve the quality of her life, beyond offering cold cash for quickie.

One would think that he might consider how this dalliance might redound to the women in his life – wife, mother, daughter, niece, and half the State of New York.

One might think that he could understand the logic: if it’s okay for him to do it, why shouldn’t somebody pay his daughter for her services?

Apparently, in his busy schedule and crime-fighting career, the Governor never found time to ponder his own demons. His inner voice was silent because the inner work wasn’t getting done. Did his close associates knew about his proclivities? If so, they were also too busy or distracted to reflect on the monstrous consequences of ignoring one’s shadow material.

This isn’t a moralistic tale of sexual prudery. If he was a single man who carried on like a playboy, it might not reflect the most polished character, but he wouldn’t be breaking any vows, or laws. It might raise some eyebrows and produce a few winks, but it wouldn’t drive him from office. Though immature, it would be more honest – and legal.

The Governor has driven down a dead end street, and taken the hopes and dreams of a lot of people with him. If he salvages any kind of political career it will truly be a miracle – but redemption is always possible. That murky shadow material he chose to ignore has leapt forth and given him an extremely rude awakening. How he comes to terms with that material will determine his future.